A New Texas Decalogue
On April 20, Senate Bill 1515 was passed by the Texas Senate, which would require public schools in Texas to “display in a conspicuous place in each classroom of the school a durable poster or framed copy of these Ten Commandments.”
In an exclusive interview, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott expressed confidence that the bill would also be supported in the House of Representatives. He did, however, hope that the legislators would make minor edits to subsection (c), which addresses the contents of the posters to be displayed, before he has the chance to sign it into law. His proposed version of the document is as follows:
Thou shalt have no Politicians before Greg Abbott.
Thou shalt not make to thine friends any graven text messages.
Thou shalt not take the name of the homosexual, in vain or otherwise.
Remember not history, but rather repeat it.
Honor thy Manifest Destiny, that thy days may be long upon the land which Greg Abbott thy Governor giveth only to thee not from China, Iran, Russia, or North Korea.
Thou shalt not slay.
Thou shalt not commit the Woke Agenda.
Thou shalt steal indigenous land in the name of fossil fuels.
Thou shalt not bear false witness, or even lie to Congress.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s Mifepristone.
When asked why he wanted to make these edits, Abbott said “well, my ten commandments are much easier to follow — I mean, just imagine if you weren’t allowed to lie or steal, my career would be over! The original ones are simply quite outdated.”
