Letter regarding the article: "Janay Rice, messenger of domestic abuse"

In the September 10, 2014 issue of The Corsair, Managing Editor Jonathan Ramos in his article, "Janay Rice, a messenger of domestic abuse" criticized Janay Rice's words and actions post the knockout punch she received at the hands of her current husband, ex NFL football star Ray Rice.  While it appears to me after reading this article that Mr. Ramos does not condone in any form the abuse of Ray Rice towards his then fiancée, now wife, I think that Jonathan Ramos’ criticism of Janay Rice's actions in support of her abusive husband is a simplified analysis of this tragedy.  Having been myself a victim of abuse as a child at the hands of my father, I know that victims of abuse have tangled feelings of anger, confusion, shame, and love for their abusers.  I was ashamed of being hit in public and having other people witness the abuse I received.  I was angry and confused as to why my father would do this to me.  I loved my father the times when he was kind and generous with me.  It’s not a neat and simple story of the abuser being evil, so therefore if Janay Rice defends her husband the abuser as Mr. Ramos writes, “maybe she should wake up, and take into consideration how other women may feel about domestic abuse.”  

Janay Rice and Ray Rice have a child they are raising.  How will Ms. Rice care for this child once she leaves her husband?  I wonder if Mr. Ramos and others who are quick to criticize Janay Rice will send her monetary and other support to raise her child once she leaves her abusive husband.

The only guilty party in this whole affair is Ray Rice.  There is never any justification for a man to knockout a woman.  Ray Rice should be prosecuted for domestic violence.  Let’s not though, once again blame the victim, Janay Rice, who Mr. Ramos writes, “continue to hide from the brutality of domestic violence.”  Janay Rice, through no fault of her own, was beaten up by a famous man.  She has a right to privacy in her private life.  While I believe we need to discuss these issues in our classrooms, and our homes, and in our places of work, and make aggressive changes to lessen the occurrence of these abusive events in society, we do no justice to victims of abuse by criticizing their actions in the immediacy following tragic events such as occurred in this case.  Thank you.