Tiger Needs A Driver

A lone driver exits the driveway of his house at 2:25 a.m. He is a husband, father and law-abiding citizen until he commits a small infraction. As he is pulling out of his driveway he gets into a minor car accident, hitting a fire hydrant and then a tree. Nobody is harmed and the driver is fine.  This is not a newsworthy incident. In fact, it makes for a downright boring story; unless, of course, the man behind the wheel is world-famous golf pro Tiger Woods.

The incident that began last Sunday as an automobile collision with two inanimate objects has now ballooned into a saga of intrigue, drugs and illicit liaisons, except that no one can verify the validity of these claims.

The media is now hounding Woods and people are asking why Woods was leaving his Orlando home at such an early hour. Also involved in the accident was Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, who said that she helped Woods exit his Escalade SUV by smashing in the back window with a golf club, according to the Los Angeles Times.

Woods had a clean slate with the media before this incident. He has two children with Nordegren, whom he has been married to since 2004, according to Examiner.com. Since the story broke, three women have come forth to say that they have had affairs with Woods, which leaves those with nothing better to do wondering whether he was leaving his house to meet with one of these ladies.

There is also speculation as to whether the incident with Woods' wife and the golf club points toward domestic violence, according to KNX 1070 news radio.

Allegations of driving under the influence of alcohol and prescription drugs have also been made.

A criticism of Woods was that he refused to disclose to authorities the specifics of the auto crash. But Defense Attorney Mickey Sherman, in a KNX news radio interview, reminds us that when an incident like this happens to a celebrity like Woods, he is instructed to follow the scripts of lawyers and PR people who are more interested in saving Woods' reputation then making sure he complies with aggressive law officials.

A Florida Highway Patrol spokesperson, Maj. Cindy Williams, held a news conference on Tuesday, noting that after investigating the incident, the FHP issued Woods a careless driving citation fining him up to $164. Williams said that there was "insufficient evidence" to issue Woods a subpoena and said that there was no indication of domestic violence. Williams also mentioned that Mr. Woods' celebrity status in no way influenced the investigation or its findings. It's doubtful that the FHP is aggressively vigilant, calling a news conference to relay their findings regarding all minor traffic violations.

Defense Attorney Sherman has a theory about why all the hoopla surrounding Woods is getting so much attention. Not only is he a celebrity, but "Tiger Woods is Mr. Clean," said Sherman. Woods has had no prior social impropriety to speak of and is, for all intents, a solid family man. Sadly, his clean record is what will bring him to his knees. For as much as America says they are rooting for the good guy, watching the mighty fall sells more papers and getting an exclusive interview with a woman who says she is Woods' mistress will certainly snag more viewers than all of Woods' televised PGA tournaments combined.